It was a good day today.
Still sore from yesterday, I got a sets of 4, 3, 3 muscle ups, landed the laches on the fingertips so very quietly and absolutely pounded out the last few exercises so I could get to dinner. Pretty much exceeded expectations all round, which is good.
But the thing that made it unique was I met another guy there who was actually working, trading sweat for functionality, and not just aesthetics. He was a surfer, an old surfer, and he knew what he was doing. As soon as he said to me, "We need more nutcases in the gyms," I knew I'd met a kindred spirit. He worked a lot on swiss balls and medicine balls; doing squats, spins, pushups, side-plank switches... endless combinations that required an amazing sense of balance and control. It's funny, but at the time I wrote clarity, I chose that name because I liked the word, not because I had any actual clarity about what I was doing, and it seems I've found something to focus on now - improving balance and control will make a fundamental difference to parkour, both in balance and in terms of power generation, it will work my core hard during the gym, which will assist with handstands, handstand presses and the end goal of the muscle-up to handstand-press. I won't go so far to say that I was being prophetic when I called the workout "Clarity", but it's a nice thought. (Also, if anyone is wondering; I'm using one-word titles in a mostly ineffectual attempt to expand my vocabulary, although it seems to me that most of the words I'm using are irrelevant to the topic at hand. Ah well.)
So, when I have time, I shall go through Clarity and revamp it with some new things I've picked up in the last few weeks, some more exercises from parkour conditioning classes (for Wednesdays I think...), and from my new nutcase friend. I've also been thinking at having a go at an iron cross as my next major six month goal, or maybe a one arm chinup... a lot of this excess strength is redundant in terms of efficacy, but hell, I enjoy it.
Sore, sleepy, exhausted and with plenty to think about. It was a fucking good day today.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Chaos
I love the word chaos. I love the idea of it, the total lack of control or order - or more accurately any that we, as humans, recognise. The sleet that flies horizontally into your face as you battle up a mountain is in perfect order with itself, with the weather patterns that generated it weeks and months before, but to us...it came out of nowhere.
I was told that the goal of a paramedic is to get "The right response to the right person in the right timeframe, with the right decisions made in initial care... and do it better next time." That's perfection. But its a goal, not the standard. Perfection stops when the tyre blows, or the rush hour jam holds up the MICA, or the patient just...dies. In each second here there's a choice, made on the best way to reverse or delay entropy until more resources can be brought to bear, and each choice has its own pro's and con, there is rarely a perfect decision; just one that works well enough to keep the patient alive long enough to get them to the ER. And being strong, having experience, sound judgement, knowing when to relax and when to tense, when to act and when to wait - all help a little, all help to exercise control over a situation. So when the sleet is barrelling into your face, you can dispassionately way up the pros and cons of each choice and pick one. You can't control the rain, but your own actions will determine how it affects you, and then it's just part of the scenery. I don't think its possible to fully understand and predict the chaos of the world, but I'd like to be able to get my abilities to a point where I feel comfortable in chaos. An eye in the storm.
I was told that the goal of a paramedic is to get "The right response to the right person in the right timeframe, with the right decisions made in initial care... and do it better next time." That's perfection. But its a goal, not the standard. Perfection stops when the tyre blows, or the rush hour jam holds up the MICA, or the patient just...dies. In each second here there's a choice, made on the best way to reverse or delay entropy until more resources can be brought to bear, and each choice has its own pro's and con, there is rarely a perfect decision; just one that works well enough to keep the patient alive long enough to get them to the ER. And being strong, having experience, sound judgement, knowing when to relax and when to tense, when to act and when to wait - all help a little, all help to exercise control over a situation. So when the sleet is barrelling into your face, you can dispassionately way up the pros and cons of each choice and pick one. You can't control the rain, but your own actions will determine how it affects you, and then it's just part of the scenery. I don't think its possible to fully understand and predict the chaos of the world, but I'd like to be able to get my abilities to a point where I feel comfortable in chaos. An eye in the storm.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Suffering
Suffering is important. Pain is important. When I say I enjoy it, I don't mean that I enjoy self-harm or mutilation... Pain is not the end, pain is the means to an end. Withstanding suffering increases your capacity to suffer; it is about being strong, not about being a masochist. It's intensely difficult for me to articulate, so I quote:
“I think a lot about my friends, my family, myself. I often wonder why I put myself in these situations : I'm cold, I'm dirty, I'm tired, although I could be enjoying the comfort of my sweet home... I don't really have an answer. Sometimes I feel like a child who has put on a suit too big for him, I don't really know if I should be here doing this, but in moments like now, when I reach a goal, when I win my challenge, I feel like I grow a little bit into this suit.” - Thomas Couetdic
Diamonds are made from ordinary rocks, put under extreme pressure.
Survival
Survival is one of my principles. Survival of myself, my faculties, my friends, my ideas, my beliefs. See a pattern here? It is all about me; which is fine in some ways, the concepts of self and autonomy and determination are important to me - but it is also a very selfish way of subsisting. Be Strong to Be Useful, as opposed to just Being Strong.
Humans are social animals, and we evolve (and survive!) through social interactions. C.S. Lewis said that "friendship has no survival value. But it adds value to survival." That's true in a way, but so false in many others - humans came together into tribes because the life-expectancy of each member of the group was higher than an individual on their own. And though that contributed to the survival of the species, fulfilling Darwin's theory of natural selection was not the goal, survival of the self was the goal, you cared for the fallen member because a) If they recovered, they added to your survival, and b) If you did it for them, then they should do it for you - both "altruistic" reasons were founded on the philosophy of Saving Your Own Ass.
Again, pretty selfish. And again, there's nothing wrong with that. And maybe that's where it's supposed to stop, and young wet-behind-the-ears idealists like me maintain romantic (and arbitrary) concepts like honour and loyalty. But I think chivalry is important. I think that survival is a base instinct, but humans are capable of so much more than mere survival - look at art, and music, and literature - these things have no survival value, but most definitely add value to survival.
Sun Tzu said that "A great general is not one who wins, but who excels at winning with ease." I find people should existence beyond just surviving, and into prosperity* - where their efforts have produced things that add value to survival. It is obviously a matter of degrees, about how high one chooses to climb - and about what society chooses to value, but in my case, I want to excel at surviving. That, however, sounds like an oxymoron, so I'll rephrase: "To Be and To Last." Or, in the original French; Etre et Durer.
*n. Flourishing condition, thriving condition, success
Humans are social animals, and we evolve (and survive!) through social interactions. C.S. Lewis said that "friendship has no survival value. But it adds value to survival." That's true in a way, but so false in many others - humans came together into tribes because the life-expectancy of each member of the group was higher than an individual on their own. And though that contributed to the survival of the species, fulfilling Darwin's theory of natural selection was not the goal, survival of the self was the goal, you cared for the fallen member because a) If they recovered, they added to your survival, and b) If you did it for them, then they should do it for you - both "altruistic" reasons were founded on the philosophy of Saving Your Own Ass.
Again, pretty selfish. And again, there's nothing wrong with that. And maybe that's where it's supposed to stop, and young wet-behind-the-ears idealists like me maintain romantic (and arbitrary) concepts like honour and loyalty. But I think chivalry is important. I think that survival is a base instinct, but humans are capable of so much more than mere survival - look at art, and music, and literature - these things have no survival value, but most definitely add value to survival.
Sun Tzu said that "A great general is not one who wins, but who excels at winning with ease." I find people should existence beyond just surviving, and into prosperity* - where their efforts have produced things that add value to survival. It is obviously a matter of degrees, about how high one chooses to climb - and about what society chooses to value, but in my case, I want to excel at surviving. That, however, sounds like an oxymoron, so I'll rephrase: "To Be and To Last." Or, in the original French; Etre et Durer.
*n. Flourishing condition, thriving condition, success
Monday, March 17, 2008
Clarity
These are the workouts I have devised so far for the following while, to complete the following goals. In addition, whenever I leave my room, I need to do 6 Psedo-Planche Pushups and 2 HSPUs, this is because my shoulders (one of my weakest muscle groups) get too exhausted during normal workouts do be able to build in both these exercises, so I do them outside of my normal gym sessions:
Goals:
1 month:
Full rollouts
2 month:
3 sets 6 muscle ups
4 month:
Full handstand press & 8 reps HSPU & Freestanding HSPUs & Tucked Flag
6 month:
Muscle up to handstand press, Chinups & Dips with 40kgs, Full Flag
Workout 1:
Reps and sets will evolve each week.
Redemption is a workout that occurs whenever I fail something. It is full of my least favourite exercises. No breaks.
Goals:
1 month:
Full rollouts
2 month:
3 sets 6 muscle ups
4 month:
Full handstand press & 8 reps HSPU & Freestanding HSPUs & Tucked Flag
6 month:
Muscle up to handstand press, Chinups & Dips with 40kgs, Full Flag
Workout 1:
Reps and sets will evolve each week.
Monday/Friday:
| Exercise | Reps | Sets | Break |
| Su Nim Tao Chum Kiu | | | |
| Muscle Ups | 4s, 2a | 3 | |
| Planche Progression | 60s total | - | - |
| Ladders | 4 | 3 | |
| Headstands | 30s | 3 | 30s |
| Dips | 10 | 3 | |
| Laches | Max Pyramic | 3 | |
| Barbell Pullovers | 10 | 3 | Circuit |
| Lat Shoulder Raises | 10 | 3 | Circuit |
| Rollouts | 10 | 3 | Circuit |
| Quadrupedal Movement | 1 fwd, 1 bck | 3 | |
| Pushups | 40+ | 1 | - |
Tuesday:
PNF Stretching (5-7, off, 5-7, off, 30.)
Achilles
Bed – Hamstrings
Butterfly Stretch:
Sitting Hamstrings:
Quadriceps
Glutes:
Sitting Side Bends
Abdominals
Pectorals
Grounded Shoulders
Wrists
Trapezius
Chum Kiu
Wednesday:
| Exercise | Reps | Sets | Break |
| Su Nim Tao Chum Kiu | | | |
| HSPUs | 6 | 3 | |
| Planche Progression | 60s tot | - | - |
| Man-makers | 6 | 3 | |
| Chins | 10 | 3 | |
| Dips | 10 | 3 | |
| Weighted Punches | 30s | 4 | |
| Pushups | 40+ | 1 | - |
PNF Stretching (5-7, off, 5-7, off, 30.)
Achilles
Bed – Hamstrings
Butterfly Stretch:
Sitting Hamstrings:
Quadriceps
Glutes:
Sitting Side Bends
Abdominals
Pectorals
Grounded Shoulders
Wrists
Trapezius
| Exercise | Reps | Sets | Break |
| Su Nim Tao Chum Kiu | | | |
| Weighted Lunges | 12 | 3 | |
| Back Squats | 8 | 3 | |
| Deadlifts (BW) | 8 | 3 | |
| Depth Squats | 6 | 3 | |
| Pushups | 40+ | 1 | - |
Redemption is a workout that occurs whenever I fail something. It is full of my least favourite exercises. No breaks.
Redemption
Quadrupedal Movement: 20m
Plank:
Squats: 50
Quadrupedal Movement: 40m
Plank:
Squats 75
Quadrupedal Movement: 60m
Plank:
Squats: 100
Quadrupedal Movement: 40m
Plank:
Squats 75
Quadrupedal Movement: 20m
Plank:
Squats: 50
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Merit
In Apology, Socrates remarks "I am wiser than this man, for neither of us appears to know anything great and good; but he fancies he knows something, although he knows nothing; whereas I, as I do not know anything, so I do not fancy I do." There's two things I'd like to bring this too: Firstly, if you did not put the above through any scrutiny because Socrates said it, I'd like to point out to you that in Phaedo, he 'proves' the existence of ghosts. Socrates may have been a brilliant philosopher, but that doesn't mean he was right. Aristotle was a great scientist, but we are reasonably certain now that the world isn't an amalgamation of five elements. Hippocrates founded medical thought, but stated in the oath that "I will impart a knowledge of the Art to my own sons and those of my teachers, and to disciples bound by a stipulation and oath according to the law of medicine, but to none others." Its been two thousand years since then, and we've moved on. Maybe.
Its been only relatively recently that medicine has no longer become entirely a privilege of the upper class of society, and even then it still remains a degree that can be, more or less, bought. But, there are now other "streams" of entry available. Rural and indigenous students can enter medicine - and university - with lower academic requirements.
And, naturally, the city folk complained of discrimination, the rich ones bought country houses to give themselves rural addresses, and I mused at the fact that if I lived across the road I would be 'rurally disadvantaged.'
And yeah, it is discrimination. And no, I don't think that's a bad thing. Discrimination is important with dealing with groups of people. How else can you discriminate between them? If an aboriginal person does badly on the academic entry requirements, does it mean they're stupid, or does it mean they spent their childhood learning to hunt and forage, and not their times tables? They may have the sharpest eyes in the world, could spot minuscule fibroids on the liver, read MRI's flawlessly, but because these skills aren't assessed in an exam, they can't gain entry. It's because those particular skills have deemed to be meritorious by society. It used to be your parentage and your gender that determined your 'merit.' Now that it is intelligence based, a large proportion of the course is female. And when they enter the research arena, research will change...science and knowledge itself will change because the cultural bias through which it is researched will change, and we will find gaping moral holes in today's society because of it. Two thousand years ago, slavery was law. Forty-six years ago we gave Aboriginals the vote. Ten years ago we sterilised people with disabilities without their consent. Yesterday?
There's always a long way to go.
Its been only relatively recently that medicine has no longer become entirely a privilege of the upper class of society, and even then it still remains a degree that can be, more or less, bought. But, there are now other "streams" of entry available. Rural and indigenous students can enter medicine - and university - with lower academic requirements.
And, naturally, the city folk complained of discrimination, the rich ones bought country houses to give themselves rural addresses, and I mused at the fact that if I lived across the road I would be 'rurally disadvantaged.'
And yeah, it is discrimination. And no, I don't think that's a bad thing. Discrimination is important with dealing with groups of people. How else can you discriminate between them? If an aboriginal person does badly on the academic entry requirements, does it mean they're stupid, or does it mean they spent their childhood learning to hunt and forage, and not their times tables? They may have the sharpest eyes in the world, could spot minuscule fibroids on the liver, read MRI's flawlessly, but because these skills aren't assessed in an exam, they can't gain entry. It's because those particular skills have deemed to be meritorious by society. It used to be your parentage and your gender that determined your 'merit.' Now that it is intelligence based, a large proportion of the course is female. And when they enter the research arena, research will change...science and knowledge itself will change because the cultural bias through which it is researched will change, and we will find gaping moral holes in today's society because of it. Two thousand years ago, slavery was law. Forty-six years ago we gave Aboriginals the vote. Ten years ago we sterilised people with disabilities without their consent. Yesterday?
There's always a long way to go.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Assumptions
I'd like to talk about violence, about parkour, and movement, and stealth, and survival - but there are others out there who do it so much better than me. Chiron, Blane, Erwan - their thoughts - unlike most - are backed by experience - so I'll shut up and listen and one day I'll write too about the foundations of whatever concept that I follow down to its core. But now, I'm going to write about philosophy - something I do know a little something about - and later on, I'll write down what violence and parkour mean to me - not what they mean (an important distinction). But first, some ground rules.
1. The issue of life being of divine origin is irrelevant. There are saintly characters in all religions - and outside of them. God is unnecessary to living a happy and productive life.
2. People can change. From personal experience, I believe this is so. It can be hard, nigh on impossible, but people can change.
3. The meaning of life is arbitrary. There are so many different theories about the meaning of life that I think this is self-evident.
4. If the meaning of life is arbitrary, then so is everything done in life. This is leaning awfully close to the existentialist philosophy of "No action is inherently better than any other action," except I found that idea to be quite depressing - and rather impractical. I believe some actions are inherently better than others...because I believe they are.
5. What I believe, and what I do, is determined by a set of principles. Principles are arbitrary too, in a way, they are merely things that I have chosen to hold close to my heart, and you will have different ones than I do. The best analogy I can think of is mathematics: numbers are the universe, and functions (plus, minus, etc) are the principles - don't break them, and everything just falls into place, step by step. Difficult tasks become easier if they advance these principles, feelings such as regret and guilt and sadness become redundant.
I'd like to say I know how I came across these principles, and give you a 5-step plan for articulating your own, but I don't. But try to get to the core of yourself; write down everything that matters to you and look for patterns. Find people with qualities you want, and imitate them. The rest just comes down to how much you want it.
1. The issue of life being of divine origin is irrelevant. There are saintly characters in all religions - and outside of them. God is unnecessary to living a happy and productive life.
2. People can change. From personal experience, I believe this is so. It can be hard, nigh on impossible, but people can change.
3. The meaning of life is arbitrary. There are so many different theories about the meaning of life that I think this is self-evident.
4. If the meaning of life is arbitrary, then so is everything done in life. This is leaning awfully close to the existentialist philosophy of "No action is inherently better than any other action," except I found that idea to be quite depressing - and rather impractical. I believe some actions are inherently better than others...because I believe they are.
5. What I believe, and what I do, is determined by a set of principles. Principles are arbitrary too, in a way, they are merely things that I have chosen to hold close to my heart, and you will have different ones than I do. The best analogy I can think of is mathematics: numbers are the universe, and functions (plus, minus, etc) are the principles - don't break them, and everything just falls into place, step by step. Difficult tasks become easier if they advance these principles, feelings such as regret and guilt and sadness become redundant.
I'd like to say I know how I came across these principles, and give you a 5-step plan for articulating your own, but I don't. But try to get to the core of yourself; write down everything that matters to you and look for patterns. Find people with qualities you want, and imitate them. The rest just comes down to how much you want it.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Standards
It's interesting how your standards change over time as you condition to a particular lifestyle. As I've grown into the idea of being strong (and refined that philosophy, something I will present shortly and then continue to poke at as I integrate parkour, violence and medicine more effectively in my lifestyle) over the past few years, changes have occured in my psyche to reflect this attitude.
There are no longer good days, ordinary days, and bad days; there are normal days, and bad days. Pretty much all days are good. Lack of intensity is a rarity - and comes hand in hand with periods of self-loathing, making it even more undesirable. The clock now times how long till the gym closes, not till I can leave.
The work is interesting, enjoyable and important, and gets done as a matter of course. Work, I think, is like eating and drinking; it must be done - and enjoyable if done in the right mindset.
By enjoying everything I do, it seems my life is ultimatly calm, effortless, and stress-free. Its been a long time since I've ever had to do something to 'relax.' Everything has a purpose beyond being fun. My only upset is that when I sleep; I am not utterly exhausted.
But I guess you can't have everything.
There are no longer good days, ordinary days, and bad days; there are normal days, and bad days. Pretty much all days are good. Lack of intensity is a rarity - and comes hand in hand with periods of self-loathing, making it even more undesirable. The clock now times how long till the gym closes, not till I can leave.
The work is interesting, enjoyable and important, and gets done as a matter of course. Work, I think, is like eating and drinking; it must be done - and enjoyable if done in the right mindset.
By enjoying everything I do, it seems my life is ultimatly calm, effortless, and stress-free. Its been a long time since I've ever had to do something to 'relax.' Everything has a purpose beyond being fun. My only upset is that when I sleep; I am not utterly exhausted.
But I guess you can't have everything.
Monday, March 3, 2008
Musings
Depression is an interesting thing.
At 15, I was happy. Don't they say ignorance is bliss? Never failing is easily accomplised by never trying.
At 16, I tried. It's hard at first, but you get used to it. You get over the hump, and its wonderful. Success & failure, in the right doses, are a grand medicine.
At 17, I'm addicted. That was the high. Intensity in all things. That was the high. I guess now is the crash. Its a deep, deep sadness, but I know it will come to pass, which makes this - and anything bearable. It's not that my life is worthless, it's the exact opposite. I'm squandering opportunity.
For example: It's o-week now at Uni - first year - and the college is going off (I realise that sudden change could be a factor in my altered mindset, but I've done it before, and I don't get attached to things like that. Lack of Anna, Patrick & Gervis are much more likely causes - but I don't get attached to people much either, so still, I doubt it.) and its been fun. Partying is fun. Parkour is better. Pain is better. Taking yourself to the very edge of your limits, pushing through the dark makes the morning all the more beautiful. I know. I have pictures. The people on my floor are fantastic, and the days have been fantastic with them.
The nights less so. They're all alcoholics. And there's nothing wrong with that. People make choices - for good or bad reasons, with good or bad effects - but the act of choosing validates the result. But there is a culture here, a lowest common denominator attitude. Study to pass exams, not study to know. In the career that we are preparing for... I don't think that is good enough. The bare minimum is seen to be enough. I don't want to be scraping by with the bare minimum, I want to know. Again though, this is just choice. There is nothing wrong (inherently...I believe otherwise) with being the lowest common denominator - otherwise it would be higher. So the bare minimum is enough, its just not my choice. So by choosing more, I choose to be sad now, sad at how this week - though fun, was the post unproductive since I first tried. But I don't want to be sad, so I will need to make a choice - cure or amputate. To amputate, I need to return to the 15 year old level of thinking, stop trying, lower my standards, and I'll be good enough.
That's fucking anathema to me.
On the holidays, I threw my intensity - my year 12 gym and study intensity - onto a flywheel, stopped gym, stopped study, and ran. I ran a lot. Now I need to transfer it back to the things that matter. The things that I choose to matter.
Medicine? It may save my life one day. It will certainly save someone elses. It matters.
Wing Chun? Parkour? Being strong is all well and good, but if you can't use it, you're useless. Use-less; without use. It matters.
And friends, family, and all those who push me to adapt, overcome, improvise and grow strong? They matter.
But drinking; and partying?
They matter; they matter to many - those who live for the weekend - but I always found the week so much more exhilerating. It dosn't matter. I don't matter, the people passing my door in drunken revelry at 2 A.M. don't matter - and neither would any feeling of annoyance - so deep somewhere in my head all I hear is silence. So I guess I'm doing alright.
Looking back on when I wrote this; I'd like to say that this kind of clarity is rare for me. But its always welcome.
At 15, I was happy. Don't they say ignorance is bliss? Never failing is easily accomplised by never trying.
At 16, I tried. It's hard at first, but you get used to it. You get over the hump, and its wonderful. Success & failure, in the right doses, are a grand medicine.
At 17, I'm addicted. That was the high. Intensity in all things. That was the high. I guess now is the crash. Its a deep, deep sadness, but I know it will come to pass, which makes this - and anything bearable. It's not that my life is worthless, it's the exact opposite. I'm squandering opportunity.
For example: It's o-week now at Uni - first year - and the college is going off (I realise that sudden change could be a factor in my altered mindset, but I've done it before, and I don't get attached to things like that. Lack of Anna, Patrick & Gervis are much more likely causes - but I don't get attached to people much either, so still, I doubt it.) and its been fun. Partying is fun. Parkour is better. Pain is better. Taking yourself to the very edge of your limits, pushing through the dark makes the morning all the more beautiful. I know. I have pictures. The people on my floor are fantastic, and the days have been fantastic with them.
The nights less so. They're all alcoholics. And there's nothing wrong with that. People make choices - for good or bad reasons, with good or bad effects - but the act of choosing validates the result. But there is a culture here, a lowest common denominator attitude. Study to pass exams, not study to know. In the career that we are preparing for... I don't think that is good enough. The bare minimum is seen to be enough. I don't want to be scraping by with the bare minimum, I want to know. Again though, this is just choice. There is nothing wrong (inherently...I believe otherwise) with being the lowest common denominator - otherwise it would be higher. So the bare minimum is enough, its just not my choice. So by choosing more, I choose to be sad now, sad at how this week - though fun, was the post unproductive since I first tried. But I don't want to be sad, so I will need to make a choice - cure or amputate. To amputate, I need to return to the 15 year old level of thinking, stop trying, lower my standards, and I'll be good enough.
That's fucking anathema to me.
On the holidays, I threw my intensity - my year 12 gym and study intensity - onto a flywheel, stopped gym, stopped study, and ran. I ran a lot. Now I need to transfer it back to the things that matter. The things that I choose to matter.
Medicine? It may save my life one day. It will certainly save someone elses. It matters.
Wing Chun? Parkour? Being strong is all well and good, but if you can't use it, you're useless. Use-less; without use. It matters.
And friends, family, and all those who push me to adapt, overcome, improvise and grow strong? They matter.
But drinking; and partying?
They matter; they matter to many - those who live for the weekend - but I always found the week so much more exhilerating. It dosn't matter. I don't matter, the people passing my door in drunken revelry at 2 A.M. don't matter - and neither would any feeling of annoyance - so deep somewhere in my head all I hear is silence. So I guess I'm doing alright.
Looking back on when I wrote this; I'd like to say that this kind of clarity is rare for me. But its always welcome.
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